Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
This coming Sunday is International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Never heard of it? That's OK, it's still a pretty underground movement.
Every September 19 for the past 8 years or so people all over the world have made a point of adding an extra "arr" or "shiver me timbers" to their speech.
The celebration grew out of an inside joke among friends John Baur and Mark Summers, and really took off when newspaper humor columnist Dave Barry got involved (you can read the whole story on The Official Website ). Thanks to the Power of the Internet (tm), the fun has spread worldwide and, although I haven't seen official Talk Like a Pirate Day cards from Hallmark, gained some legitimacy.
It's pretty easy to celebrate, all you have to do is make a point of talking like your favorite movie cliche pirate for the day. If you want, you can visit one of the many TLAPD events that have sprung up around the world, including the Pirate Picnic in Highland Park, NJ, where I'll be performing this Sunday.
The point is, it's a fun, goofy thing to do. It doesn't cost anything (except perhaps a little dignity) and it will make you cooler, sexier, taller, richer, smarter and more attractive to the opposite sex, so why not try putting a little Pirate Slang in your speech this Sept. 19.
In fact, for those of you who do celebrate, I'd love to hear what you do for the holiday, and your best "talking like a pirate" stories. If I get some good ones I'll publish them here next week.
Till then, maties, ye be havin yerself a good weekend, and I'll see ye on th' Monday.